I've written before about what to expect from our first meeting together, but I thought it might actually be more useful to share the other side of that conversation, the questions I genuinely ask every single couple, and why they matter far more than they might seem to at first glance.
I always start by asking how you actually met, and what your relationship looks like day to day, rather than diving straight into wedding logistics. This isn't small talk. Understanding who you are as a couple, your personalities, your relationship, the things that make you laugh together, shapes almost every recommendation I make from that point forward. A wedding should feel like an authentic reflection of two specific people, not a generic template, and I can't design toward that without genuinely understanding you first.
From there, I ask what you're each most looking forward to, and, just as importantly, what you're most anxious or unsure about. The answers are often quite different from one another, and both are useful. One of you might be dreaming about the dancing, while the other is quietly worried about difficult family dynamics or a tight budget. Knowing both sides early means I can plan for the things that excite you while also proactively managing the things that might otherwise cause stress later.
I always ask about family, and specifically about any dynamics I should be aware of. This isn't about gossip. It's about genuinely understanding the landscape I'm working within, blended families, complicated relationships, cultural or religious considerations, financial contributions from parents that might come with expectations attached. The couples who are most honest with me about this early on tend to have the calmest planning experiences, because I can navigate around potential friction points before they ever become actual problems.
I ask what a genuinely successful day looks like to you, specifically, rather than in general terms. Not "a beautiful wedding," but what that actually means for the two of you. Is it about the two of you having a calm, present, unrushed day together? Is it about your guests having an unforgettable time? Is it about a particular tradition being honoured properly? The answer shapes my priorities throughout the entire planning process, and it's genuinely different for every couple I work with.
And finally, I always ask what you're worried might go wrong, because in my experience, couples usually already know the answer, whether that's a difficult family member, a tight budget, or simply the fear of the day feeling stressful rather than joyful. Naming that early means it becomes something we can plan for together, rather than something quietly hanging over the entire process.
None of these questions are really about logistics at all. They're about understanding two actual people, so that everything I plan afterward genuinely reflects you, rather than simply following a template. That, to me, is the real starting point of good wedding planning, long before a single venue or supplier is ever discussed.
Ready to have this conversation for yourselves? Book your first meeting with me here.